Archive for June, 2009

6 June 2009

Misunderstood

by misslampa

If you knew me back when I was in high school and college, you’d know it’s quite ironic that I am now teaching. You see, I don’t like being smothered with attention. Now it’s impossible for a day to go by without anyone noticing me. I’ve had eyes follow me inside the classroom as well as along the corridors, and when I’m in one-on-one session with my tutees, they’re left with no other choice but to hang on to every word I say. After all, there’s no one else to listen to.

Oh, but don’t get me wrong. I rarely shun the limelight and I do admit basking in it once in a while. It’s just that I feel most at ease when I don’t have people watching me.

Introverts are like that. We like being left alone. We’d rather curl up in bed with a good book that go clubbing with friends. We take pleasure in sitting in a quiet corner and hearing ourselves think. You can’t count on us to make small talk with a complete stranger on the train or plane. We’re not comfortable sharing our private selves, so we’d rather be stereotyped as snobs than have to deal with people we don’t actually care much about.

I am a self-professed introvert, and I have been misunderstood because of that. I tread the roads of my life silently, calling as little attention to myself as possible. I don’t speak up every time I have something to say, and quite recently, I’ve discovered the joy in just keeping mum when I know I really won’t be able to make things better. Most of my acquaintances dismiss me as a so-so person with nothing to say and nothing to share, and I allow them that delusion so they’d let me have my solitude and my privacy

I will keep ostracizing myself from most of the world – until I happen to meet the handful of people whose wit, sincerity and no-fuss personality can get me to open up. They could take the form of closest girlfriends from way back, surprisingly interesting block mates, kindred spirits from nowhere and everywhere, unassumingly brilliant students or the sweetest colleagues in the world. Whatever the case, the craziness that’s to come after that is anyone’s guess.

But for the most part, I swear I’d still be an introvert ü.

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This piece goes our to all those I’ve been very fortunate to call my friends. I know I’m not easy to love at times, and I’m thankful that you’ve stubbornly, stupidly remained by my side.

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