Musta na (How have you been), donna/ms.lampa/cher/doughya/dude/bruha?

by misslampa

This was how I looked like decades ago, way before I grew up. Someone tell me why this growing up had to happen again, please?

The tag “lampa” has been in my “popular tags” box for what, three months now, and although the exact process behind how a tag ends up in that box still eludes me, I can’t help but be amused – even if all this could really be is a flat-out pathetic case of pagfi-feeling on my part.

The thing is, it has gotten smaller and smaller as the days go by, and so as an attempt to save little ol’ me from oblivion, I am posting an entry centering on the question I’ve been most frequently asked as of late.

(Honestly, I’m just getting tired of having to repeat myself – to gut friends from HS, to bloc mates from college, to Xavier people, to anyone curious or kind enough to ask – but then that kind of intro would have been too easy.)

I left Xavier School to find myself, and since I haven’t gotten around to doing that yet, I used to answer all kamusta-ka-na (or is it kumusta? Whatever.) queries with something simple but honest like “still floating but fine.” Because really, that’s where I am. I haven’t figured out who I want to be or what will make me happy, but I am slowly adjusting to the unnerving fact that, for the first time in 23 years, I have to stop because I do not know where I want to go.

But after hearing this, almost everyone assumes that “floating” is just my euphemism for “jobless.” So when they try to make me feel better by going oh-you-take-your-time-and-live-off-of-your-parents-some-more or enjoy-your-extended-vacation-while-you-can, I have to clarify that I’m not really on indefinite holiday because I actually have work. And then the more exacting questions pop up one by one: where do you work, what’s your job title, what do you do exactly, what’s the name of the company you work for, does it pay well, have you left the country for better opportunities, blah blah blah blah blah.

And like a medical transcriptionist, I type away like a madman and answer the barrage of questions thrown at me via Yahoo! Messenger. I work in Alabang now… I’m called a corporate business trainer, but that’s really just ITI Consulting, Inc.’s fancy term for someone who teaches English as a Second Language (ESL) or English as a Foreign Language (EFL) or English for Specific Purposes (ESP) to corporate Europeans… I would like to believe that for all the patience and multi-tasking this job requires of me, I am well-compensated… and nope, I may not know where I belong but for now, it’s definitely not abroad.

I indulge anyone who asks every time because it’s the gracious thing to do and because I sincerely believe that they all mean well, but without fail as well, I feel one golden-haired and stubborn child squirming inside of me – wondering why on earth we adults just can’t help but preoccupy ourselves with facts which we mistake for matters of great consequence.

Then just before I raise hell, the little prince stares at me ever so thoughtfully, surprising and scaring me with the sad thought that perhaps, it’s taking Miss Donna Rasalan Lampa too long to find the answers because she’s all grown-up herself.

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